The reception seating chart gets all the attention, but the ceremony has its own seating questions, and guests ask them at the door. Which side do I sit on? Is this row reserved? Where does my mother-in-law go? Most of it is settled by a short list and two signs. Here's the list.

Which side is which

In most Christian and non-religious ceremonies in the US and UK, guests of the bride sit on the left as they face the front, and guests of the groom sit on the right. In Jewish ceremonies the sides are usually reversed: the bride's family on the right, the groom's on the left. Two brides, two grooms, and plenty of mixed-faith couples simply decide which side is whose and tell the ushers.

Sides matter less than they used to. Many couples put a sign at the entrance that says "Pick a seat, not a side" and let guests sit anywhere. It fills the room evenly when one family is much larger than the other, and it spares the ushers a question. The one thing it doesn't change is the front rows, which are reserved either way.

If you keep the sides, ask ushers to balance them. A ceremony with 90 guests on the left and 30 on the right looks lopsided in the photos and in the room.

How many rows to reserve

Reserve the first one or two rows on each side for immediate family, and a third if either family is large. A typical row of 8 to 10 chairs holds:

  • Row 1: parents and their partners, grandparents, and any siblings who are not in the wedding party.
  • Row 2: remaining siblings with their partners and children, aunts and uncles who are close, godparents.
  • Row 3 (if needed): the rest of the close family, and anyone with a role in the ceremony who is not standing at the front, such as a reader or a musician.

Mark reserved rows with a small sign on the end chair, a ribbon across the row, or a printed "Reserved" card on each seat. Signs on the end chair are the easiest for ushers to see from the aisle.

Write the names down. Ushers cannot seat "close family" from memory; they can seat "Row 1 left: Margaret and Tom, Nan June, Priya and Sam". Give each usher the same list on one sheet of paper.

Parents

Mothers are seated last, just before the processional, and are usually escorted to the aisle seat of the front row by an usher or a son. The father of the bride, if he walks her in, takes the seat next to the bride's mother after the handover. The groom's parents sit in the front row on their side, in whichever order they prefer; traditionally the groom's mother takes the aisle seat.

If a parent is walking the couple in, leave their seat empty in the front row with a reserved card so that nobody slides into it during the music.

Divorced parents

The front row goes to the parent who raised the couple, with their current partner if they have one. The other parent sits in the second or third row with their partner, with a row of other relatives in between if the two do not get on. If both parents share the day equally and are on good terms, they can share the front row with their partners on the outside and a sibling or grandparent between them.

Step-parents sit with the parent they are married to, in the same row. Don't put a step-parent further back than their spouse. The divorced parents guide has the reception side of this, and the same distance rule applies to both.

Grandparents

Grandparents sit in the front row when there is room, and in the second row when the parents' row is full. Give them aisle seats or seats near the end of the row, so they can get in and out without climbing past anyone, and seat them before the mothers in the processional order. If a grandparent uses a wheelchair, leave a space at the end of the front row rather than putting them in the aisle itself, which has to stay clear. The guide to seating elderly and disabled guests covers chairs, distances and the walk from the car.

The wedding party

Bridesmaids and groomsmen stand at the front for most ceremonies and don't need seats, but some venues and longer services seat them in the front row after the processional. If yours do, count their seats in the reserved rows and leave them empty until they arrive. Flower girls and page boys usually sit with their parents after they walk in; keep those parents in row 2 or 3 on the aisle so the children can reach them quickly.

Everyone else

Beyond the reserved rows, guests sit where they like, filling from the front. Ushers should encourage it. Rooms fill from the back on their own, and the photos then show the couple with five empty rows behind them.

A few guests need a specific spot:

  • Readers and anyone doing a blessing: on the aisle, a few rows back, so they can walk up without stepping over people.
  • Musicians and a singer: at the side or back, near their instruments and a power socket.
  • Parents of babies and toddlers: near the back on the aisle, so they can step out if the child cries. Tell them you've saved those seats; most will be relieved.
  • The photographer and videographer: no seat. They need the aisle and the sides clear.

How many chairs to set

Set one chair per guest who has accepted, then add 5 to 10 per cent spare. Not everyone comes, but the ones who do arrive in couples and leave single seats between them, and a few guests always sit on the wrong side. A ceremony for 120 guests needs around 130 chairs: 13 rows of 10, or 16 rows of 8 with a wider aisle.

The aisle should be at least 36 inches wide, and 48 to 60 inches is more comfortable for a dress with a train and for two people walking side by side. Leave 24 to 30 inches between rows, measured from the back of one chair to the back of the next, or guests will have to turn sideways to get in.

For an outdoor ceremony, set the rows on the firmest ground and keep a short, flat route from the car park to the front row for anyone who finds walking hard.

From ceremony to reception

The ceremony and the reception use different lists. The ceremony needs a reserved list of twenty to thirty names, by row and side, for the ushers. The reception needs a full seating chart with every guest at a table. Don't try to run both from one document; the reserved list changes in the last week when a grandparent's health or a parent's partner changes, and the reception chart has its own late changes.

Keep the reserved list to one page. Print four copies: one per usher, one for the coordinator, one for you.

Doing it in Seatwise

Seatwise is a reception tool: it builds the table plan, not the ceremony rows. Paste your guest list once, with each household on its own line, and use it for the reception chart. The ceremony list is short enough to write by hand, and the names in the front rows are the same households that sit nearest the couple's table at dinner, so the two lists agree without extra work. The etiquette guide has the table-by-table version.

Planning is free and needs no account; the guest list stays in your browser. Printing the floor plan, table lists and seating board is part of Pro: $12, one time. For 120 guests, the how many tables for 120 guests page shows the table count for each table type.

FAQ

Which side does the bride's family sit on at a wedding? Traditionally the left, as guests face the front, in Christian and civil ceremonies in the US and UK. Jewish weddings usually reverse it. Many couples now let guests sit on either side.

How many rows should be reserved at a wedding ceremony? One or two per side for immediate family, three if the family is large. Mark them with a sign on the end chair and give the ushers a written list of who sits in each.

Where do divorced parents sit at a wedding ceremony? The parent who raised the couple sits in the front row with their partner. The other parent sits in the second or third row with theirs, with other relatives between them if needed.

Who is seated last at a wedding ceremony? The grandparents, then the groom's parents, then the mother of the bride, just before the processional starts.

How many chairs do you need for a wedding ceremony? One per accepted guest plus 5 to 10 per cent spare. For 120 guests, set about 130 chairs.