An anniversary party brings together people from every stage of a marriage. There are friends from school, the couple who lived next door when the children were small, colleagues from two or three jobs, siblings, children, grandchildren and sometimes a guest or two from the original wedding. Most of them know the couple well and don't know each other at all.
That mix is why a seating plan helps, even at 30 guests. Here's how to set the couple's table, seat three or four generations of family, place friends from different decades, plan the speeches, and work out how many tables you need for 30 to 100 guests.
Who is hosting, and who decides
A 25th anniversary is often hosted by the couple themselves. A 40th or 50th is more often hosted by their children, sometimes as a surprise. It matters for the seating, because the host is the one who knows which friends are still close and which ones fell out in 1994.
If the children are hosting, ask one parent quietly, or a sibling of the couple, to look over the friends' tables before you print anything. You can keep a surprise and still check that two old friends aren't placed side by side after a falling-out you'd never heard of.
The couple's table
Start with the couple, then build the room around them. There are three common set-ups.
- The couple with their children and partners. The usual choice at a 40th or 50th. With three children and their partners, that's 8, which fits a 60-inch round or a 72-inch round with room for two more.
- The couple with their oldest friends. Good for a 25th, when the children may be teenagers who would rather sit together. Include the best man and maid of honour from the wedding if they're coming.
- A table for two. A small table facing the room, with family at the tables nearest it. It works when a couple's table would mean choosing between friends and family. The head table vs. sweetheart table guide has the sizes for each option.
Whatever you choose, the couple should face the room and the speech spot, be close to the entrance so guests can greet them, and have a clear route to the dance floor or the cake. At a 50th, the couple may be in their seventies, so give them chairs with arms, a short walk to the bathroom, and a spot away from the speakers.
Seating the family generations
A 50th anniversary can have four generations in the room: the couple's siblings, their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Seat them by generation, starting closest to the couple.
- Siblings and their partners at the next table. They're the guests nearest the couple in age and history. Put them where they can see the speeches without turning their chairs.
- Older relatives on the side nearest the door and bathroom, away from the music, with a clear path between tables. The guide to seating elderly guests covers chairs, hearing and walking routes.
- Grandchildren together, if they're over about 12. A table of teenage and twenty-something cousins is often the loudest and happiest table in the room. Seat it a little further back, not beside the great-aunts.
- Young children next to their parents. Under about 8, keep them at their parents' table rather than a separate kids table, unless there are 6 or more and an adult who will sit with them.
If the couple's children are divorced or remarried, treat it as you would at a wedding: two tables at the same distance from the couple work better than one table that forces former partners together.
Friends from different decades
This is what makes an anniversary different from a wedding. A 40-year marriage might have friends from school, from early married life, from the children's school years, from work, from church or a club, and from retirement.
- Seat each era together. Old school friends want to sit with other old school friends. They share the stories the speeches will tell,.
- Mix the small groups. Three neighbours from 1985 and four people from the golf club can share a table of 8. Put them together by age and by how well they know the couple rather than leaving a table of strangers.
- Put the longest friendships nearer the front. Guests who were at the wedding, or who have known the couple for 40 years, should be close to the couple's table and the speeches.
- Guests who come alone. Widowed friends are common at a 40th or 50th. Seat them with people they know from the same era, not at a table of couples they've never met.
Speeches and toasts
Most anniversary parties have two to four speeches: one of the children, sometimes a grandchild, an old friend or the original best man, and a few words from the couple. Plan the room around the speech spot.
- Pick the spot first, at the front, next to the couple's table, with space to stand.
- Seat the speakers close to it, so nobody crosses the room with a microphone.
- Use a microphone above about 40 guests. Older guests often struggle with an unamplified speech in a room full of hard surfaces.
- Show the photos where everyone can see them. If there's a slideshow of the wedding and the years since, place the screen so the couple and the oldest guests have the best view.
The rehearsal dinner seating guide has more on seating people so they can see and hear toasts, including crescent seating at rounds.
How many tables you need
| Guests | 60-inch rounds of 8 | 72-inch rounds of 10 |
|---|---|---|
| 30 | 4 tables (32 seats) | 3 tables (30 seats), or 4 to leave space |
| 50 | 7 tables (56 seats) | 5 tables (50 seats), or 6 to leave space |
| 75 | 10 tables (80 seats) | 8 tables (80 seats) |
| 100 | 13 tables (104 seats) | 10 tables (100 seats), or 11 to leave space |
The couple's table is counted in these numbers. A full table leaves no room for a late guest, so where the count is exact, add a table or keep a few chairs to the side.
For a mid-sized party on rounds of 8, the 60 guests at 60-inch rounds page shows the room size. For a larger one, the 100 guests at 72-inch rounds page does the same.
A worked example: a 50th for 72 guests
A hotel function room, dinner and speeches. The couple's three children are hosting.
| Table | Seats | Who |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | 8 | The couple, their three children and partners |
| 2 | 8 | The couple's siblings and partners |
| 3 | 8 | Cousins and older relatives, nearest the door |
| 4 | 8 | Grandchildren, aged 14 to 26 |
| 5 | 8 | Two grandchildren's partners and the young great-grandchildren with their parents |
| 6 | 8 | School friends and the original best man and maid of honour |
| 7 | 8 | Friends from the years the children were small |
| 8 | 8 | Former colleagues from both careers |
| 9 | 8 | Club and neighbourhood friends, and two widowed friends from the same club |
| Total | 72 | 9 rounds of 8, plus a cake table and a screen for photos |
Tables 1, 2, 3 and 6 are at the front, near the speech spot. The grandchildren's table sits by the dance floor, not beside table 3. Every seat is taken, so the hotel keeps a tenth table folded at the back.
Doing it in Seatwise
Seatwise is free to plan with and needs no sign-up. Add rounds of 8 or 10 and use the Venue buttons to place the entrance, the dance floor and the bar.
Press Import list and paste the guest list, one guest per line with a household and a group. Use the household for couples and families, and the group for the era each guest comes from: family, school, work, neighbours. In the rules box, add one rule per line, such as "together: " followed by two old friends, or "apart: " followed by two people who shouldn't share a table. Seat the couple's table by hand and lock it, then press Auto-seat. It keeps households together, follows your rules and mixes groups gently across the rest of the tables.
Your guest list stays in your browser. Printing the table lists and floor plan, and copying the escort-card CSV for place cards, is part of Pro: $12, one time.
FAQ
Who sits with the couple at an anniversary party? Usually their children and their partners. At a 25th, the couple's oldest friends or original wedding party are a common alternative.
Should an anniversary party have a seating chart? For a seated dinner of 30 or more, yes. The guests come from different parts of the couple's life and mostly don't know each other.
Where do grandchildren sit at a 50th anniversary? Older grandchildren at their own table, a little away from the older relatives. Young children with their parents.
How many tables do I need for an anniversary party of 50? Seven 60-inch rounds of 8, or six 72-inch rounds of 10 if you want some spare seats.