Where the two of you sit is the first decision on the seating chart, and it's the one that moves everything else. A long head table takes eight or ten people out of the general seating. A sweetheart table takes out two, and sends the wedding party back into the room with their partners. Same guest list, different number of tables, different people at each one.
There's no etiquette rule that says one is right. This guide sets out the four options couples actually use, how big each table needs to be, and what each does to the rest of the plan.
The four options
| Option | Who sits there | Typical size |
|---|---|---|
| Sweetheart table | The couple only | 2 seats |
| Modified head table | The couple plus the maid of honour and best man, sometimes their partners | 4–6 seats |
| Full head table | The couple plus the whole wedding party, facing the room | 8–14 seats |
| Long family table | The couple, the wedding party and their partners, seated on both sides | 16–24 seats |
A fifth option, the UK top table with both sets of parents, works on the same logic as the full head table. The UK table plan guide covers who sits where on it.
Sweetheart table
Just the two of you, usually at the front of the room near the dance floor.
Size: a 30- to 36-inch round, or a 4- or 6-ft rectangle with both chairs on one side so you face the room. A 6-ft rectangle leaves space for flowers at each end without crowding your plates.
Good for: couples who want the wedding party to sit with their partners, weddings with divorced or separated parents, and couples who want a few minutes alone during dinner. It also takes up the least floor space at the front.
Downsides: you're a bit on display, and you'll see less of your friends during the meal. Some older relatives expect a head table and may ask about it. Plan to get up and visit tables between courses, which most couples do anyway.
Modified head table
The couple plus the two people closest to them, usually the maid of honour and the best man. Their partners either join (making six) or sit at a nearby table.
Size: one 8-ft rectangle for four, facing the room, or an 8-ft plus a 6-ft for six.
Good for: couples who want company at dinner without splitting up a large wedding party. The two people giving speeches are already at the front, which helps.
Full head table
The traditional layout: one long row of tables at the front, everyone on one side facing the room, the couple in the middle.
Size: allow about 24 inches per person along one side. An 8-ft table seats 4 on one side; a 6-ft table seats 3. So:
| People at the head table | Tables needed (one side only) |
|---|---|
| 6 | Two 6-ft, or one 8-ft and one 6-ft |
| 10 | Two 8-ft and one 6-ft |
| 12 | Three 8-ft |
| 14 | Three 8-ft and one 6-ft |
Leave room behind the chairs for people to get in and out, at least 3 feet, more if the head table is on a riser.
Who sits where: the couple in the centre, then usually alternate out by side: the maid of honour next to the partner she's standing up for, the best man next to the other, and the rest of the wedding party outward from there. Some couples alternate men and women; many don't bother. Whatever you choose, put the two speech-givers closest to the centre so the microphone doesn't have to travel.
Good for: photos, tradition, and a wedding party that are mostly friends with each other.
Downsides: the wedding party's partners and dates have to sit somewhere else, often at a table of people they don't know. And a full head table is long: 14 people on 30 feet of tables takes up most of the front wall of a small room.
Long family table
A variation on the head table where the wedding party and their partners sit together at one or two long tables, on both sides. It looks less formal and solves the partner problem.
Size: an 8-ft rectangle seats 8 with people on both sides (10 with chairs at the ends). Two or three joined together make a long table for 16 to 24.
Downside: half the table has its back to the room, and to the speeches. Put the couple on the side facing out.
Where the partners go
This is the question that usually decides it. With a full head table of 10, you have eight attendants. If six of them bring a partner, six people need seats somewhere else.
Three ways to handle it:
- A partners table near the front, so each partner can see their date. Six partners plus four friends make a table of ten.
- Seat each partner with friends they already know, which works if most of them know the couple.
- Switch to a sweetheart table or a long family table, so the problem goes away.
Whatever you choose, don't seat a partner who knows nobody at a table of strangers at the back of the room. That's the seat people remember.
How the choice changes your table count
The head table is part of your room layout, so it affects how many guest tables you rent. Take 150 guests on 72-inch rounds seating 10:
| Option | People at the front | Guests at rounds | Rounds needed |
|---|---|---|---|
| Sweetheart table | 2 | 148 | 15 |
| Modified head table (4) | 4 | 146 | 15 |
| Full head table (10) | 10 | 140 | 14 |
| Full head table (14) | 14 | 136 | 14 |
A full head table saves one round here, but costs you three or four rectangles, the linens for them, and more of the front wall. Couples who expect a head table to save a lot of space usually find it doesn't. The 150-guest, 72-inch round page shows the rest of the numbers for that room, and the table math guide covers how to round and where to leave spare seats.
Parents and family
Parents don't usually sit at a sweetheart or wedding-party head table. Give each set of parents their own table near the front, at the same distance from you. If both sets get along, they can share one.
If your parents are divorced, or one side would take offence at being further back, the sweetheart table is usually the easier choice, because nobody's seat at the front is a statement. The divorced parents guide covers the two-table split in detail, and the seating etiquette guide covers where grandparents, plus-ones and everyone else go.
Putting it on the plan
Place the head or sweetheart table first, then the parents' tables, then everything else. In Seatwise, you can drop a rectangle or a small round at the front of the floor plan, seat the couple and the wedding party, lock it, and let Auto-seat fill the guest tables around it while keeping partners together.
FAQ
Is a sweetheart table rude to the wedding party? No. Most wedding party members would rather sit with their partners. Tell them early, so nobody expects a head table seat.
Does the head table have to face the room? Traditionally, yes, so guests can see the couple. A long family table with seats on both sides is a common alternative.
Where do flower girls and ring bearers sit? With their parents. Young children rarely sit at the head table; they won't stay in their seats through dinner.
Can we sit at a regular round with our friends? Yes. Some couples take a 72-inch round in the middle of the room with their closest friends. It's the most relaxed option, and it works best at smaller weddings.